Once upon a time in a country far away from any place you have ever been to, there was a very wise king, who ruled over a very happy people. The king would have gone on to be very wise and the people would have continued to be happy, if it hadn't been for the new cars.
Everyone was happy with the new cars, but the fact that people drove around more made it necessary to put up road signs everywhere, so people could tell where they were going. The king asked the kingdom's best designer to make a really nice sign, and he promptly did so and died the following day, laughing to death at a funny cartoon he had seen in one of the royal news papers.
That the designer died would of course not stop anyone from producing the new road signs. Soon people started putting them up all over the country. All went well everywhere in the country except in one county, which was called Ilo. When the king's workmen came to put up the sign, there was a rough farmer (or network engineer; I'm not sure any longer), who came up to the workman and said:
"Are you mad? Are you going to put that sign there?"
The workman, who had been given the task by the king himself, was very surprised by the question, and replied:
"Yes, of course. Why not?"
"Can't you see what it says?"
"It says: 'Welcome to Ilo, the county of probabilities!' What's wrong with that?"
Instead of answering, the farmer, pushed the workman aside, tore down the board and smashed it in half. When the workman tried to stop him, the farmer waved his fist under the workman's fairly long nose, and the workman decided to run away.
This was just the first of the recorded incidents in the county of Ilo. Often when the workmen from the capital put up the signs, they were assaulted, and often they were laughed at by small children. And signs that came up without any incidents were usually demolished during the night.
The king would not put up with this, so he ordered that everyone who damaged the road signs would go to prison. Strangely enough, this did not diminish the incidents, but it increased them, as more and more of the people in the county Ilo got angry at the king's way to handle the incidents, and many decided to vent their anger at the road signs.
After one month of more and more trouble, the king asked the prefect of Ilo to come and discuss the situation.
"Well..." the prefect started, "the situation is difficult. The people of Ilo claim that the signs don't say 'Welcome' in clear light grey letters on nice matching dark grey background. They claim that it is almost impossible to see the word 'Welcome' as a completely different message is written in something they call 'red' on something they call 'blue' background. It seems the best designer of our country made a prank board just before he died."
You see, almost everyone in this kingdom was colour-blind, but for some reason, the people in the county of Ilo usually could see different colours. But as they lived in such a distant part of the country, no one really cared about them.
"A prank road sign? Are those people out of their minds? Bring me a road-sign!"
The king immediately got a road sign in his hands. This is what he saw:
And this is what the prefect saw:
but he didn't dare to tell the king, because he didn't want to contradict the king.
So when the king furiously asked:
"Do you see anything here, but 'Welcome'?"
the prefect answered:
"Not me, your majesty, but perhaps other people..."
"To hell with other people! They are just trouble makers!"
"Your majesty, most people in Ilo don't really care about the red and the blue, even if they can see it. Some even think it is funny. However, they are not very happy with the fact that hundres of people have been sent to prison for protesting against what everyone can see is silly."
"Everyone?!" the king roared at the prefect.
"Well, not me... certainly not me... but most people, or at least some people in Ilo claim..."
"They are deluded madmen."
The king dismissed the prefect and convened all the people of the capital at the square in front of the Royal Palace. He stepped out on the balcony and proclaimed:
"Friends, ladies, and gentlemen, lend me your ears! The people of Ilo are evil people. They assault our workmen and they tear down our road signs, probably to show how deep their hatred is for us. We are a free country. I am legally appointed by the high council, and every single member of that council has been legally appointed by me. The people of Ilo don't like our freedom. They hate our laws. They are illegal, and they shall be punished for their illegality! This won't be an easy struggle, but I promise that we soon shall have every person behind bars, who tries to show that they don't love us. This is an important war against illegality. All means are allowed in order to win it. So if we occasionally kill innocent bystanders or imprison people without any trial, see that just as the kind of flexibility against the law we need to crush those brutal illegal people of Ilo!"
And all the people of the capital cheered with one voice:
"Ehm... well... ok, then", because that was written on large billboards in front of them. After that cheering they hurried home, because they had been summoned at dinner time, so their ovens were on.
The struggle over the road signs is still ongoing, so this story doesn't really have any end.
But do you know, how I can be so sure that you have never been close to this country? It is because it all happened in a universe that is parallel to ours, and where there are no colours. So you see, the people of Ilo really were deluded.
15 January 2006